


The S&M Adventures

by ashtraythief



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Animals, Assassins & Hitmen, Crack, M/M, Minor Character Death, Size Difference, Size Kink, Squirrel Jensen, Violence, moose jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:08:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3485987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashtraythief/pseuds/ashtraythief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Gerald Slicer watched the squirrel in his backyard, it should have made him suspicious. It didn’t. It was the last mistake he ever made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The S&M Adventures

**Author's Note:**

> So I’m trying to write a fic that should have been done ages ago. It just won’t flow. Then my roommate sneezed like a homicidal rodent and this happened. I don’t know, people. I think this might be the most insane thing I’ve ever written. And I’ve written dino porn. You have been warned.
> 
> Thank you, so much, to my steadfast beta linvro21 who puts up with all my weirdness without batting an eye. Or so she claims… All remaining mistakes are clingy bastards.

Gerald Slicer looked out over the backyard of his luxurious mountain lodge. He should take advantage of this view as long as he could. As soon as his company’s new chemical plant was up and running, not much would grow on this mountain. The scientist’s study had been quite comprehensive. Because of Slicer’s plans, they would contaminate the complete water resources in a twenty mile radius. Slicer thought that wasn’t so bad. The last breach in his nuclear reactor had ruined an area double the size.

The scientist had been outraged at Slicer’s dismissal and threatened him with publicising his findings. The only thing publicized was the scientist’s death announcement in the newspaper.

Slicer swished the cognac in his glass and took in the nature. The birds were chirping and a squirrel was sitting on the nearest tree, watching him while it was munching away on a pine cone.

Slicer never understood why people found this vermin adorable. It was creepy. He closed the window to keep out the bird’s annoying chirping. Nature was overrated anyway.

 

The next morning, he kept the windows closed. He heated up a breakfast burrito and got to work. He made a few calls, fired a few people, and finalized a hostile take over. Then he okayed their new factory in the rain forest and decided that no, they would not stop animal testing on their cosmetic line.

He cooked himself a steak for lunch, made some more calls, ordered his designer to stop pussyfooting around, of course they’d use real fur in the winter collection and then called his personal assistant to see if she’d finally gotten the license to hunt a few elephants.

After dinner, he had a cognac and read the day’s balance sheets. He was slightly horny, so he put on some porn. It was spoiled by the knowledge that while the actress didn’t look a day over thirteen she was probably of age. He called his personal assistant again to send him some entertainment for the next day. And yes, he wanted a blonde as well as a brunette. Why not splurge when you have the money?

Satisfied with the day’s work, he went to put his glass away. When the motion detectors went off, he spotted a squirrel climbing a tree. He wondered if it was the same one, probably not though. The little pests were everywhere. The squirrel was sitting motionless now, watching him. Which was ridiculous, squirrels didn’t watch people.

For a moment, Slicer regretted that he hadn’t taken his hunting rifle, then he shrugged and went to bed. By the time he fell asleep, he’d long forgotten about the squirrel.

 

Slicer awoke with a start, for a moment, he was disoriented. He’d thought he’d heard a crash. But the alarm system was not going off. Then he heard it again. And again. The whole house was shaking, before it suddenly went quiet.

He took his revolver from the nightstand and carefully walked downstairs. A man in his position had enemies, but Slicer refused to be a sitting duck in his bedroom.

The crashing continued and when he reached the living room area, the outside lights were on, but nothing was moving. Then he saw a giant shadow walk across the lawn. He went into the kitchen and looking outside the window, he saw a giant moose. It was bigger than any moose he’d ever seen, with huge antlers. For a moment, Slicer considered trying to shoot it with his revolver, but then he spotted where it must have kicked into his wall. Next to the fridge, there was a hoof-sized hole. Well fuck. Now he was definitely going to shoot the crazy moose.

He raised his gun and in the harsh artificial light, it looked like the moose was grinning. Then there was a clattering noise to his left and Slicer whirled around.

“Who’s there? If you hurt even a hair on my body, you’ll be dead before you can leave the country.”

Then he spotted the squirrel. It just had to be same one, with reddish fur and a bushy tail. It was sitting on his knife block.

“What the fuck?”

Slicer lowered the gun, looking around his kitchen. The squirrel must have made the noise. Well, he didn’t know why the rodent had come inside, but it was going to die, just like the moose.

The squirrel squeaked and Slicer looked back at it.

“Oh shut up, you vermin.” He raised his gun and shot.

He missed and there was loud roaring from outside and then something heavy crashed into the wall. The moose, Slicer realized, the moose was probably startled by the shot. Not that it hadn’t been rabid before.

Maybe he should deal with the moose first, before it tore the house down. But then the racket suddenly stopped. The hole was wider, but not enough to let in a moose. He slowly moved towards the kitchen door when the squirrel chittered.

He turned around and now it was closer. It was sitting on the sideboard right next to him.

Slicer raised his gun again but he froze when he saw what the squirrel was holding in its paws: his steak knife.

He stared at the squirrel and it smiled at him.

“No one ever suspects the squirrel,” it said in a surprisingly deep voice and then lunged at him.

The blade gleamed in the light from the lamps outside and Slicer raised his gun. It was too late. He screamed when the knife plunged deep into his ribcage.

Pain shot through him and he stumbled and fell to the ground. The fall made him dizzy, but a fresh wave of pain made him focus. The squirrel was sitting on his chest, throwing the knife to the side. Carefully, it put a paw to Slicer’s wound, then it plunged its claws in. Slicer screamed again. The squirrel smiled serenely and reached for the knife again. Slicer screamed in horror.

As a matter of fact, he didn’t stop screaming until he finally lost consciousness. The squirrel watched him until his heart stopped beating. Then it put down the knife and jumped off his body, disappearing out the hole in the wall where the moose was still waiting. The moose, who had watched the whole thing through the kitchen window, smiled at the squirrel with adoration. Then the squirrel climbed onto the moose’s back and the two of them disappeared soundlessly into the dark forest.

 

When Slicer’s assistant arrived the next morning and called the security team, no one could make heads or tails of what had happened. Considering what Slicer had been up to, no one was looking too hard into it. Whatever had happened, he had it coming.

 

When they reached their shelter, Jensen had cleaned out all the blood from his fur. He was still restless, thrumming with energy. A good kill always got him hot. His dick was standing to attention and when he glid off Jared’s back, he rubbed against his soft fur.

Jensen let himself plop onto the ground, lying on his back, shamelessly spreading his legs.

“C’mere, big guy,” he said seductively and Jared was already staring, lowering his big head. Killing got Jensen hot, but watching Jensen kill someone was what turned Jared’s crank. They were a great team that way. Good thing the Secret Animal Council had paired them up for their missions.

For a moment, Jared nuzzled him softly, hot breath puffing over Jensen’s body and fluffing up his fur. Sometimes Jensen loved their drawn out foreplay, but not tonight. They had been plotting Slicer’s death for weeks, Jensen needed his final release now.

“Jared, I need you,” he said and Jared obliged, licking Jensen with his broad tongue.

They’d needed to work on this, Jensen didn’t want to take a full bath every time they fucked, but over time Jared had learned to form the tip of his tongue just so, dragging it over Jensen’s dick with just the right pressure.

Jensen raised his hips, his tail wildly brushing the ground while Jared moved his tongue faster and faster.

“Close, baby, I’m so close.”

Jared rolled his tongue in waves along Jensen's dick and he came with a hoarse scream. Jared nuzzled him through the aftershocks and for a moment Jensen basked in the glow. Then he heard Jared shifting his hooves, obviously horny but waiting for Jensen to get his bearings.

Slowly, Jensen got up. He might have a sadistic streak a mile wide, but looking into Jared’s big brown eyes was his Achilles' heel.

He peered up at Jared, saw his giant dick hanging heavy under his belly.

“Please Jensen. You were so beautiful tonight, so hot.”

Jensen remembered the kill, remembered plunging the knife in again and again. He loved killing with the big steak knives. It was only just desserts, getting killed with the knife these monsters used to cut their meat.

But now he had to focus on Jared first. His Jared, his big strong adoring moose. Jared could be a killer, could tear a house down, but he turned to putty in Jensen’s paws. There was no bigger rush than having this strong creature look at him with love filled eyes, begging for release.

Quickly, Jensen climbed up Jared’s hindlegs and then rubbed himself along Jared’s heavy balls. Jared moaned, and a shudder went through his body. Then Jensen climbed along Jared’s dick, carefully scratching his claws along the thick skin and nibbling with his teeth. Jared’s dick was a murder weapon in itself, but Jensen was a possessive bastard. He didn’t share, not even for a good kill. So he dug his claws in and nibbled along the underside. Jared belled and Jensen thought it was a good thing that Jared had a masochistic side to match Jensen's sadism. A good team indeed.

Jensen nibbled and scratched, undulating his whole body against Jared’s dick. Jared was already on the edge when Jensen snapped his tail against Jared’s ball and then swished its fluffy end gently along it. With a forest shattering roar, Jared came, come hitting the ground with a loud spatter.

It was a lot really, Jensen was always surprised. Not for the first time he mused that he should just drown one of his next targets in a puddle of Jared’s come.

When Jared’s dick started to soften, Jensen climbed up on his back. Jared walked a few steps to the side and then sank to the ground. Jensen rolled himself up in the thick fur of Jared’s neck.

“Night babe.”

“Night Jensen. I love you.”

“Love you too. Now sleep. We have to head out west tomorrow and take out his partner.”

**Author's Note:**

> For random updates or to chat, you can come find me on [tumblr](http://ashtray-thief.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
